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Daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend. Living each day to the fullest. I know God has a plan for me, if I could just see it all through His eyes.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

What to do? What to do?

I love my children. I want what is best for them. I hope they will realize this truth someday. Someday soon.

We have a birthday sleepover planned for tomorrow night in honor of Eli's 10th birthday. He has invited 5 boys over and I'm sure they plan to monopolize the XBox 360 all night - much to the consternation of Eli's brothers.

But now we have a problem. Eli. Yes, Eli is the problem. He has had the most durned-awful attitude the last two days and I am at my wit's end with him. He has been treating his brothers so badly, arguing with Mike and myself and he gives me the goofy grin that says, "Oh, I know I'm in trouble but I'm gonna make it worth my while!" Do you know the look? Er. That look pushes me to the edge, let me clue you in.

So, what to do? Can I, and should I, wait until the last moment (tomorrow morning) to give him a chance to shape up or call the party off? What would you do? We want Eli to take us seriously and that just isn't happening. Oiy!

PS. I realize that I have neglected to introduce you to E and Sam. And I will be doing that soon. They are both integral parts of our family. But they are both in the middle and tend to be lost there sometimes. So, pardon! I will get to it. Sometime.


Nikki said...

I just had a long talk with my mother this morning about hard things. I'm having trouble with my little girl and potty training. It's too much trouble for her to use the potty. She would rather wet herself, then change her clothes all by herself. It's time for me to do that hard thing and make it worth her while to take the trouble to use the potty before she wets herself. Sometimes as moms we have to do the hard things. I don't know the whole situation, but I bet taking away his party will get his attention. Maybe even the threat would be enough. I don't know because I'm not his mother.

Jeanette "Frogster" said...

As a teacher who has had experience in disciplining elementary students and middle school age students, I'll put my two cents in on this one! :)
You need to tell him that his party is GONE! if he continues to __________. (be very specific about the behavior you don't want!) He may not take you seriously, and that means you will have to take away the party. He will not like you, and you will not like having to take it away, because you'll suffer a little along with him. But he HAS to know that you mean what you say. The next time he thinks about behaving this way, he'll remember the dire consequences.
I hate it when stuff like this happens - like when your kid is really bad at the store and you know you have to leave, but that just ruins your shopping experience.
Parenting is a tough job. . .

MyKidsMom said...

Tough decision Mom. I agree with Jeanette, although it would tear my heart out to have to do it myself. He'll probably think it's SO unfair (or do girls only put it that way?:) but I bet it will stick with him for a very long time.

Blue Castle said...

I would probably cancel the party.
I think this is one of the harder aspects of parenting, though. I don't like the idea of giving a kid something, or telling them that they can do something, only to yank it back when they misbehave.
Having been the mom of the heartbroken kid who was going to be the punished kid's playmate, I know that you punishing your son is also punishing all his friends. But, I don't have a real clear alternative to this kind of punishment.
I think it would definitely make him sober up and realize who's really in charge, but it's not a perfect solution.
These are things I've been thinking of too. I wish kids came with a manual that spelled out what to do in certain situations. :) I keep asking God for wisdom. More wisdom please!